We all feel insecure from time to time—we are human, after all! The problem is that feeling insecure too often can put a damper on the excitement of being in a relationship. It can be tough to admit to yourself that you struggle with relationship insecurities, but it’s one of the most important steps in creating a healthier mindset. Too much self-doubt is exhausting for both you and your partner! So, how can you move past any insecurities you’re feeling?
Here are 12 tips for tackling relationship insecurities:
1. Stop saying you are insecure.
If you tell yourself the same lie over and over, you’ll eventually start to believe it, right? The same goes for labeling yourself as “insecure.” You can’t change your behavior if you don’t truly believe you can, and that starts with a little positive self-talk.
2. Doubt your doubts.
Your doubts are actually your deepest fears, parading around as opinions. They’re not.
3. Name your critic.
If you’re the one tearing down your looks, abilities, or self-worth, then you’re the critic—not your partner or anyone else.
4. Stop overthinking.
Overthinking and self-improvement are like oil and water—they don’t mix well. Focusing all of your energy on negative thoughts does nothing but feed into your self-doubt.
5. Get to the root of it.
Identifying your insecurities is a great start, but knowing why you have them is what will help drive you toward a healthier mindset. Self-reflection is key!
6. If you need help, ask for it.
Not everyone can overcome insecurities on their own, and that’s okay! Reaching out to a therapist or support group can make all the difference. (And you’ll realize you’re definitely not alone.)
7. Cut off your comparisons.
We’re all guilty of comparing ourselves to others, but that doesn’t make it right. Try taking a break from social media or stop yourself from making comparisons. Instead, focus on what makes you great.
8. Cultivate confidence.
Imagine if you put the same energy into your self-confidence as you did your self-doubt. Instead of negative self-talk, hype yourself up!
9. Open up.
Vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness. Improving your communication ensures both you and your partner get what you need out of the relationship.
10. Improve self-talk.
Talk to yourself the way you would to a family member or close friend—encouraging, confident, and enthusiastic. Lifting others up is important, but lifting yourself up is necessary.
11. Surround yourself with positivity.
Surrounding yourself with positivity and good people improves your mood, confidence, and motivation to be your best self.
12. Embrace insecurity as a part of being human.
Constant self-deprecation and mild insecurity are not the same thing. It’s important to know the difference between the two and determine when you need to address your behavior.
Remember, it’s totally natural to feel a little insecure. But when it starts to impact your relationships or well-being, it’s time to take action. The above steps can help you throw your insecurities to the side and be happy just being you.